Andrew Clover

Storyman

Write amazing character portraits

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Could you describe a character so we believe they’re real?  It’s always good to think about…

 (1)  a general impression

(2)  something odd

(3)  an obsession

(4)  something they want

(5) a secret

(6)  a catchphrase, or something they always do

(7)  If they were an animal, what would they be like?

(8) But be prepared to sacrifice all these.  Sometimes it’s good to state one trait, and let your readers imagine the rest. 

To get you started, here are a couple of portraits taken from my new book Alfie Brown and the Dark Tunnel of Doom 

She was a joker and a messer and a dancer and a runner and she was, by about a million miles, the most popular person in Muswell Hill School.   She was also the naughtiest.  Every time you saw Izzy Fox, she was either surrounded by ten Year Sixes laughing, or she was letting off the Fire Extinguishers, at the Dinner Ladies.

The head was called Ms Fisley.  She was a thin woman with large bulgy eyes.  She was the sort of head who says:  “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed,”  and she’d always go into a long lecture about:  “You’ve got a lot to get through this term, you’ve got SATS soon…”  Ms Fisley was ALWAYS saying they had SATS soon.  Alfie called her Ms SATS-soon-the-big-Satsuma. 

Ms Fisley was always late. 

“You know in the supermarket,”  said Ava,  “when you see fish in plastic packets, and their eyes look all sad like the fish are thinking:  “Why did you kill us?”  Ms Fisley’s eyes look like that.  I don’t think we should call her Ms Sats-soon-the-Big-Satsuma.  We should call her Ms Fishley.” 

Did you see Izzy and Ms Fisley in your head?

Your turn now… describe a character so we believe they are real.

Tell me in the comments or via my contact page if you want to send a picture.

Disgusting school lunches

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I love to hear about terrible school dinners.  How are yours?  Do you have pasta that’s globby?  Does your custard have a skin?  Do you have dried pizzas, with bits of cheese that are hard as an old lady’s toenails?

Today the contest is for the person who can describe their horrid dinner, in the most vivid terms.  Disgust and offend us!  There will be extra marks for alliteration, and onomatopoeia, and the use of the word “squodgey”. 

Tell me about it in the comments below or directly to me, especially if you want to send a picture.

Everyone said the school library was haunted

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I used to be in charge  of shutting up the old school library.  Everyone said it was haunted, and as I shut off the lights, one by one, dark spirits seemed to appear in the shadows.   I remember how the fear seemed to rise up, from my feet, like a cold mist.  Have you ever been somewhere terrifying?  Have you actually ever seen a ghost?  Could you describe what happened, and exactly how it felt?

Tell me about it in the comments below or via my contact page if you want to send a picture.

  • The students are going gagaPranjala, Head of Apple International School, Sharjah, United Arab Emirates.

    “Right from our key leaders up to every student present in your presentation, all of them are going gaga about your unique way of getting the audience actively involved in what you had to convey to them.  So, a mighty thank you for your visit.” 

  • Loved Andrew’s impressionsMr Pugh, Wandsworth School

    “The kids loved all Andrew’s impressions and his comedy.  But what set him apart was his heart.  So giving!”  

  • Really InspiredHazel Meckler, Barton Primary School, Isle of Wight.

    “Just to say a huge thank you for today. I know my class were really inspired and had a fantastic time.”