I remember being astonished when, in my early twenties, I came across a book called The Writer’s Journey, by Chris Vogler, which broke all stories down to twelve steps.  It told how George Lucas had followed them exactly, and produced Star Wars.  What?!  I thought,  if this stuff is known, what’s to stop me producing a bestseller too?  What’s to stop you?

Here are the first four of Vogler’s twelve steps, changed slightly…

1)Normal world

Sometimes writers miss this step out, since they’ve been told:  ‘You need to grab your reader from the start!’ but if you start with your hero , in the first sentence, being Flung Into Outer Space, or  Hearing A Strange Voice Calling Them From The Toilet, then we don’t care about them.   Also they will have nothing to change, as the story develops.  Tell us:  what does your hero do every day?  What are their habits, catchphrases, obsessions?  What’s unusual about how they look?  Tell of the annoying characters who block them.  Say, too, what your hero wants.  What they need.  Do they have a secret?  One friend who sometimes helps them?  What messed them up in the past?

 2)Call to adventure

But then one day, something happens, which pushes your hero into an adventure…  A mysterious letter arrives…  They find a strange picture in the attic… When peeking at Dad through a hinge, they discover he has a huge scar (and what appears to be a tail…   While out walking, yours hero sees a tiny fairy drowning in a puddle… The Call can come in a million ways, but the effect is the same – the hero thinks:  ‘Something is wrong, and I shall put it right.’

3)Refusal of the call

But then they don’t.  They refuse the road lying glittering before them.  When I read this, I was so surprised.  Why???!!  I wondered.  What’s the point of this step?  I wondered.  If the adventure sounds exciting, why shouldn’t it start?  Think!  Why do you think this step happens?  Have you got a reason?  OK, write to me.  Tell me.

4)Meeting with the mentor

But luckily – just when your hero was thinking of doing nothing – just thinking they were fine to wallow about like a hippo / to lie in bed playing Clash of the Clans and eating crisps – they meet a mentor – a teacher – who will usually give them advice / some sort of magic sword / or just a big Kick Up The Bum.  Now at last they are ready to go into Outer Space.  They can hear that mysterious voice calling them from the toilet.  They have the tools they need / the special Toilet-swimming Armbands and scuba gear.  They can dive in.  As can you of course.

And start a new story, using these steps.  Or perhaps re-write your Spooky Story, in the light of them.  And send them to MrCloverTheFamousSnail@gmail.com  I shall await your tales, inside my sparkling shell!  I shall put them on the walls!  I shall send out gifts to the best writers!   Have fun!

Mr Clover, your slimey friend

PS I nicked this image from Ryan Dunlavey, who does some brilliant cartoons.  Check  him out!

Hello friends!   I’m really enjoying the Character Breakdowns you’ve been sending.  I’ve got a lot of Superheroes.  I’ve had a variation on Batman, a variation on Spiderman, why don’t we try to think of a kind of animal that’s never been a superhero?  What could that be?

Duckman?  (He can fly.  Also he can land on water with a big splash).

Fishman?  (When there are baddies, he swims through the air, and stands in front of them blowing bubbles?)

I’ve been doing Character Breakdowns for this TV script I mentioned last week, about the ten year old boy, who thinks he’s the world’s greatest detective.  (He’s not.  He’s just seen loads on TV…)  This is what I’ve come up with so far.  As you can see, my main focus has been to think of characters who Rory has strong feelings about.  I also like a character who has a contradiction (eg they’re tough, but small).  So this is what I’ve got…

Cassady

She is a very exciting person.  Rory only knows her because she lives over the fence, otherwise he’d never get to see her.   She is one of those naughty, ginger-haired girls who are brilliant at being the centre of attention.  Whenever you see her, she’s always surrounded by six people laughing, or she’s letting off a fire extinguisher at the dinner ladies.   (This is a picture of someone who’s a bit like how I see her.  I think it’s Emily Watson from Perks of Being A Wallflower – such a brilliant film, and book.)

Isolde

On Rory’s street, there is a girl called Isolde, who’s always hanging around, hoping for someone to play with.  She’s in the year below, and she often knocks on the door, saying “Is Rory able to come outside and play Mrs Flanagan?”   Rory hides under the sofa, furiously shaking his head,  and sometimes, just to stitch him up, his brother says:  “Yes, Isolde,  Rory is right here.”

Steven McEver

is Rory’s friend, when he wants to be a bit hard.   He’s the kind of guy who you’ll see out and about, throwing a supermarket trolley, onto the motorway.  Whenever anyone comes into the playground, he’ll kick a football at their head.  He is full of spikey energy, and rebelliousness, and is always spoiling for a fight.  It’s partly because he’s so small.  He sometimes avoids Rory these days, because he hangs out with Jason Plumb, whose brother is a proper, actual criminal.

Amelia de la Court

is a snob and a bully and an eye-roller.  Her dad is the richest person in the area, and she always gives people that look that seems to say I-am-so-much-more-gorgeous-than-you-I-can’t-be-bothered-to-say-I-hate-you.   She is Cassady’s main nemesis.  (I had a picture of Kyle Jenner to illustrate this, but then got scared I’d be sued.)

Mr Meeton

is a legend.   He’s Rory’s favourite teacher by about a mile.   He teaches him table-tennis, and says things like:  “You need to try out for the District Tournement”.  He wears jeans and trainers, and teaches Music.  Apparently Mr Meeton was once in the Arctic Monkeys.  He even played in their first gig, which was in a school.  The only reason Mr Meeton wasn’t in their second gig, was because when the Arctic Monkeys went home after the first gig, Mr Meeton wasn’t in the van.  Mr Meeton could have been in the Arctic Monkeys, if it wasn’t for that.

Do you like any of these characters?  Paul (the producer of the TV show) has decided that the show will be partly animated – as if Rory is showing off his world, by drawing it.  Would someone like to draw pictures of these characters?  They don’t have to look great.  They have to look like they’ve been drawn by Rory, who’s ten.  Do you fancy having a go?